Assignment: How would you get along with your sibling(s), parent(s), or any other person you’ve known for a long time — if you only met them for the first time today?
Woooweee! Is that ever a loaded question or what?!?! Rather than delve into the emotional cauldron that is my parentage or “strained relationship” with my only sibling, how about I ask if “me” today would like the “me” of yesterday?
When I was younger I was extremely competitive. With sports, school, boys, friends, words- you name it. It was all competition. I know now what that all stemmed from, but as a teenager I only knew that the deep well of want never seemed to fill, no matter how smart/good/fast/pretty I was.
I also had a horrific temper (which was fed constantly by said “want” well) and lack of awareness. Of myself, the world around me- all of it. Added to that disastrous recipe was a lack of self-worth stemming from my “poor economic background”. Of course, the kids I went to school with, just summed that up as “Trailer Trash” or “White Trash”. The sum total of these faults fortunately were balanced out (somewhat) with a sprinkling of virtues. Loyalty,humor, a dash of sarcastic wit, a strict moral code, and the ability to adapt (also the ability to defend myself ferociously and physically if needed-which absolutely was needed. But I digress). Also, for the most part, although my temper was epic and nasty, my fuse was not as short as most in my family.
As I grew up, and I began to notice how the rest of humanity behaved it became very important to me to attempt to better myself as a person. Every year on my birthday, I would choose one thing about me that I wanted to improve and that was what I did for the next year. I will never be Mother Teresa, but I do believe I have come along way from the scrubby,uneducated and angry little imp that I was a million years ago.
Now if the me of today were to meet the me of yesterday, I would hope that I would have some kind words of wisdom and encouragement and very little judgement. Because if I had not been who I was, I would not be who I am. For the most part, I like me.