Today’s Assignment: Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about.
A friend and I were engaging in a conversation about “fringe friends” that had eight children. EIGHT. This of course led me to wonder how that would affect my life. Do not get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore my kids. All two of them. But I was not blessed with the amazing well of patience that this other woman obviously has. Or the ability to cook for that many. Ten people, every day at least two meals. Every. Damned. Day.
How on Earth can you afford to feed ten people? And feed them daily?!? I mean, if any sizable portion of the eight are boys? You figure that each boy, individually is like a starving horde on a hunger rampage from the time he’s about 5, until…Well, I will let you know. I don’t even want to think about meal planning and grocery shopping. The very thought gives me the vapors. I struggle just trying to come up with 3-4 healthy dinner ideas a week for three of us (my oldest has turned 18 and flown the coop).
So what type of work could you have that would avail you of the financial resources to be able to feed and clothe your own basketball team? Could you even afford daycare? And HOLY SHIT you would have no other choice but to buy and drive a despised mini-van (barf. blech, and barf again).
Clothes shopping. Fuck nuggets- that would be horrendous. I fantasize about throwing myself off the mall roof at the end of a shopping spree with one teenager, much less a whole passel of them. Shudder. And, Oh God save me- the cost would be astronomical!
Can you imagine what your insurance premiums would be for a family of ten?!?!? Then you figure each kid has one well check a year, plus dental and eye check-ups. What company will give you that much time off for general family maintenance?
Let’s not forget SLEEP OVERS. Can you imagine the absolute insanity, the chaos that would be your home if every kid brought home a friend on the weekend?
Laundry. Pretty sure you could drown in the levels of laundry that would be generated by eight kids. So you would have to have really expensive industrial sized washing machines.
Who am I kidding? I could never have that many kids. I would be a bald, drooling hot mess of a loonie toon- and single because my husband would have driven himself off a cliff with that level of pressure.
God love those that can handle the level of responsibility that comes with having that many kids. The financial worries, the emotional well-being of all those little bodies…I can’t even think of trying to watch over that level of shenaniganery without wanting to take a nap.
So, I will stick with my small family. Seems to be the best fit for me.