OK marketing genius / douche bag advertising executive behind Flo from Progressive, listen up. I have a serious bone to pick with you. Why did you take a fun and quirky character like Flo and ruin her? Whatever dolt decided that Flo should be screech singing every five minutes on I-Heart Radio should be smashed in the face repeatedly with a shit-covered tire tread.
She will never be as ominously entertaining as Mayhem from Allstate, but she was holding her own. Until you ruined her. FOR SHAME!! Fie on you, sir! This is either a misogynistic male ploy to exacerbate female hatred- maybe even spreading GINGER HATE. OR, Mayhem has somehow gotten behind the scenes to trump his greatest enemy via scripting. I see your sick game, sir! I see why you proceeded to make Flo as annoying as humanly possible. Well, I am onto you. Hater. I mean, she even has her own costume. Whatcha think about that Mayhem?
Then again, I could just be a tad irritable and a bit wonky-headed this morning as I didn’t get much sleep (again) last night. Wasn’t the hubs’ fault this time (not entirely). This was all courtesy of the new Modern Warfare game (the hubby’s) and two very bumbling, aggravating, too big for their own feet and way-too-gigglingly-irritating teenage boys. (Before you ask, no. No,they are not all “happy-howdy-doody-lets-run-the-microwave-at-midnight” during the day. They are dark, moody, mostly quiet and irritated teens while the sun is up. They only seem to wake up at night. Like Vampire Brats)
Last night at about MIDNIGHT while I contemplated the merits of becoming a female serial killer, I decided to give these two buffoons ONE MORE CHANCE. If I have to get up to go to work at 5 am and I hear wrestling, rustling, giggling, HOVERING CHOPPERS with accompanying cacophony of incessant machine gun fire, doors opening and/or closing all over the house punctuated by the chiming of outside doors and the slamming of the microwave door in the middle of the night while I try to sleep? These same boys will be gagged, and then bound with bubble wrap and duct tape until my alarm goes off in the morning. I don’t care that each kid has about a foot of height on me. Consider yourselves warned boys.