Death by Cubicle

Micromanaging the decor of the cubicle

Imagery borrowed from: the23rdlife.blogspot.com

I have never understood the need for upper management to dispense the “wisdom” of removing all personal items from cubicles, because it creates an “unprofessional and cluttered look”.  How does it escape their notice that the drab gray with ZERO personality via “personal clutter” is a drain on the soul of humanity and a boil on the ass of a work force that is forced to chain themselves down to that dreary dungeon of a work space everyday?

Cubicle Clutter

I mean, seriously.  That is all of the personal items I have in my cubicle. NOT including the calendar- which is a company necessity (as they refuse to use Outlook, and instead use another archaic form of email- which is GARBAGE). The rest is acres of blank, open, characterless counter top.  Sad and boring.

I won’t lie- I have never and will never understand the need to “dress professionally to perform like professionals”.  This makes ZERO sense. If you gauge your behavior based on how you are dressed versus WHERE you ARE, then I don’t think you deserve to be working in that “high powered” of an environment. Or be allowed out in public without a handler. But that is just me.  I mean, if I were to show up at work in jeans and flip-flops I wouldn’t magically decide that it is now perfectly acceptable to yell out F-bombs at every opportunity while sipping Caribbean flavored rum drinks and making it rain on the strippers I brought with me (although it would make for a more fun work place).

There are droves of articles on how happy employees are productive employees, and research that shows when employees are able to personalize works paces (within reason) they tend to be happier and stick around longer. Yet, so many companies are caught in 1985 Corporate time warp, that dictates cubicles are cheap, take away windows, water coolers and real plants in an effort to curb “office gossip”. By taking away niceties- they are also taking away value. Happy employees = productive employees

Then there are new-age places like Google.  They have free food, coffee, tea, soda on your work days, and nap pods to help refresh yourself on those long work weeks. They also get bring your dog to work day.  How could you not love to work for a company that shows such love for their employees?  Let’s not forget- they have AMAZING work spaces….That they get to personalize. Just saying.

I’d like to see someone tell Google “Unprofessional = Unsuccessful”

 

I just think  it is time to embrace the new millennium, Corporate America! We want windows! Natural light, maybe the occasional living plant, and the ability to add minions to our damned death cubes if we want!

Desk Decor

Yes, I know I could be digging ditches – or worse not have a job…but I am thinking it is time to re-invent the cubicle! (It’s the least they can do as we are sitting so much more than we are intended to do, that many sedentary workers get the old “secretarial spread”, or worse DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis))

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