How I have dreaded that declaration for the last 10 years or so! As much as I love my boy, he has made this the most miserable day of the year for me for many years running. Once upon a time I was considered a bit of a “hard ass”. Now on this day the simple act of opening a coat closet, rounding a corner, getting a cup out of the cupboard or turning on the sink has my heart rate up and my anxiety levels high. It can be a bit lowering.
It all started out with fake cockroaches in the cabinets when he was about 8 years old. Nothing quite like going to get a drink in the morning, and when you pull out your cup there is a giant roach perched on top of it, dropping off and down your shirt. Or the random jumping out of closets in the dark (he stopped that one when I popped him a good one in knee-jerk reaction. I mostly felt terrible.) Then he just kept upping the ante over the years. Thankfully he remained a little scared of me (rightfully so) so had never gone too over the top (Bam Margera never would have made it to 20 if he were mine).
His favorite prank though, because GODDAMMIT I would forget all about it over the course of a year, was the old “clear tape on the faucet” prank. He would always set it up in the kitchen, on the hose nozzle and make sure it was pointed directly at my face. That way when I go to get fresh water for the dogs in the morning, before work, post MAKE UP, it would blast me right in the money maker. EVERY. EFFING.YEAR.
Think he got me with that one two or three years running. One year, he was even nice enough to tape the little lever to the shower control open so that I got blasted in the face in the kitchen that morning, and then drenched by the shower barrage that night after work. Charming, right?
Well this year he has moved out on his own, so I am hoping that the day remains uneventful. But I may still be a little anxious, so I wouldn’t sneak up on me if I were you.
Who thought up this idiotic holiday anyway? April Fool’s
I am assuming this is a joke: Parent Free Kid-cations