Friday Humor

Hell Week

What a complete and total shit week this has been!

Monday– After work I went to fill up our water bottles at the water store, forgot that I 1. put my debit card in my shorts pocket and 2. That I even went to the stupid water store, so had NO idea where I could have lost it.  (Usually I get home from work and go straight into pajama mode) Technically, I didn’t even realize it was lost until Tuesday.

Tuesday– After work had a mandatory Marching Band Parent meeting, followed by a school fundraiser at Yogurtini.  Somehow during the fundraiser I not only forgot to lock my car, which I never do, I also left my cell phone in my car. Something else that I never do.  I didn’t realize until after I got home and went to set my alarm that I couldn’t find my phone.  As I have bitched and moaned about what a sorry piece of shit it is- I suppose it could have magically ran away, or some jake-hole stole it. Tomato, tomatoe. On the upside I now know what software my new phone needs if I have to do any remote wiping.  Also in the 11+ years that I have succumbed to the “electronic leash” this is the first time I have had to replace a phone because it was lost, stolen or broken. (The broken part is a feat in and of itself considering I never buy the cases, and I drop them ALL the time.  Once off of a second story of a bar during an annual Girl’s Christmas Drinking Expedition.)

Wednesday– Discovered that for some reason the Access Database option was removed from my Office 365 that I have used for school, through the school. The IT department couldn’t help me, so referred me to Microsoft.  Both the final exam and the final project are due on Saturday.  Exam can’t be taken until project is turned in. Fan-fucking-tastic!

Thursday– Get home just before 9pm, because I had a hair appointment. Hey, a girl has to have some priorities alright! Don’t Judge! I then spend the next two and half hours online with Microsoft tech support and they can’t figure out the issue either.  I can’t even download any of the trial versions now, I am only getting error messages.  I uninstall all of the old Microsoft items, and clear out all caches and cookies on all three of the web browsers I use (Don’t judge.  Some browsers work better for some things.  I can’t be all Google all the time! I do prefer Chrome, but whaddya do?)…This does not work either.  Clock is ticking and I am freaking out!

Friday –  Get to work completely bleary eyed and muddle-headed, hoping to GOD that I have Access on my work computer…Nope!  Taken off during the last “update” when I let IT touch my stuff. DAMMIT.  Luckily, through the grace of good old Zeus himself, a wonderful friend and co-worker has a copy of Office Suite 2007 that I can use. FINALLY, this week is getting better, just in time for it to be OVER.



Friday Evening– Hallelujah and praise all ye’ Gods!  I was able to complete and upload my final project!  This has been a long, rough week, so I will be going out for cocktails tonight instead of trying to do a final on very little sleep and with much residual anger.  Bottoms up!

Saturday Morning– And the week from hell continues.  Was not able to make any plans for going out on a Jeep trip today, to make sure I had plenty of time to set up and take my 100 minute timed final exam.  When I woke up this morning,  guzzled an ice cold Coca-Cola (I hate coffee- wish I liked it) and got ready to get down to brass tacks…hit the link for the final exam and get an “Unrecognized User” error.  Awesome.  Ok, don’t panic.  Let’s just make sure the final project is showing as submitted (in order to progress to part 2 of the final, have to submit part 1).  It is not only showing as submitted, but I got a 96%, only missing three points. Not too shabby.

Before I bother calling IT- I log out, and reboot.  Try the link again. SON OF A BISCUIT!!!  Still no go, same error.  So, I call the lovely Judith who is stuck working calls on Saturday, and the final Saturday for Spring classes- so has ZERO humor or personality. Which always makes a stressful situation better (that was sarcasm, folks).

She takes a look at my account and asks if I withdrew.

ME: “On the last day of the class? No.”

Judith: “Did you not pay your tuition?”

ME: “Can’t you see that I did? Also, why would it let me progress ALL THE WAY to the final and THEN cut me off?”

Judith: “If you had problems during the week, why didn’t you call?”

ME: Through semi-gritted teeth, trying to keep it together enough to not become the screaming asshole on the phone “I did. Wednesday night I called when I was unable to use Office 365 through the student portal.  I was told that it had to be a Microsoft issue, so I spent over two hours on the phone with them. ”

Judith: “Well, was it resolved?”


Out loud: “No.  They told me I would have to call you back, but thinking it was only a Microsoft Access problem, I resolved it myself, and was able to complete and submit the project last night.”

Judith:  Grumpily she says, “Well obviously you didn’t resolve it yourself if you are calling me this morning.”

Borrowed from:

ME:  Sigh. I mentally rap my head against the desk and say, “Obviously Judith.  Can you help me out here?  Today is the final day to submit my exam, and I can’t get in.”

Judith: “Well, If you had more time I could probably do something. But we are limited on resources on the weekend. I will submit a work request and CC your professor.  Since it is a technical issue that you can’t resolve on your own, he will have to grant you an extension until Monday.  Hopefully the Monday crew can resolve it.”

Artist unknown, found on Pinterest. Accurately portrays my feelings for Judith



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