Last night I rescued a drunken bug. For some reason a tiny little bee- looking bug decided that he wanted some delicious vino too. He is lucky that when he decided to dive bomb my glass it was almost empty. It only hurt a little bit to dump it (and him) out. If it had been a full glass he would have had to die!
I know the wine glass I am using is really a beer mug. But, guess what? I totally don’t care. It is thicker than a normal wine glass so has less chance of shattering, (also known as “Jolene Resistant”) and it may hold a bit more than the regular glasses too. I call this a win.
Today at the cube farm they have decided to remove all the overhead bins. I now feel both exposed, vulnerable and naked. The term “human petri dish” is on constant scroll in blinking neon letters on the marquee in my head as I listen to the cacophony of incessant coughing, sneezing and the triumphant expulsion of COPD lung-butter as it erupts from the smoker’s lungs and into the shared atmosphere. I no longer have even the illusion that the germs and airborne sputum is being stopped by my 6 foot tall cubicle walls. I am fairly sure that wrapping myself in a cloak of clorox wipes while surrounding my cube with a cloud of Lysol would be frowned upon, and mildly dangerous.
On the upside, I now have a source of natural light and can actually see “outside” (must be whispered reverently, akin to “Great White Buffalo”). Even if the view is only of the Dial building.
Also important to note- TODAY IS FRIDAY!!!!
Thank ye Gods I have made it!!
(and this cult classic is twenty years old already!)